so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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