At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize