The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
