In the future we'll all be gay
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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