Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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