my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
