how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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