if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
