True but thats because hes a fetus.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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