This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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