The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
