I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
