This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
