if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
