is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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