Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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