return my video game
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
