His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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