ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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