and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize