Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
