the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
