The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
