Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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