I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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