But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize