I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's blow job season.
I have aggressive nipples.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize