he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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