the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
