If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
