he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
