It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
