My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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