Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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