He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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