so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
