Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
