I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
