i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
