my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
