don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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