I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
How's work?
Spinning.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
