There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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