How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
we're making bets on your personal life
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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