Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize