I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize