no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize