i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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