just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
