Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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