How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just googled if crying burns calories
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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