hotel room ftw
i don't like sucking hair
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
