hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
