I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
