She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
