I'm gonna have a badass scar
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
