i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My feet surprised me
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