she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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