i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
