Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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