Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
