when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
